Five years old

Evelyn Marie,
My sweet little five year old daughter. How has five years passed so quickly? Seems like just yesterday I was worrying about what kind of stroller you'd need. Turns out you preferred to be carried up on my chest. I think you still prefer to be nestled close to me. With Mabel in the picture now there's not as much time for that. She is a little jelly bean.
Last night I took you for some much-needed one-on-one time. We went to the PTA Family Fun Night at your school. There were board games, sandwiches and a handful of other families, but we didn't really interact with any of them much. We played a few games and ate some sandwiches then decided to go home. In the car you told me how special it was to have a time for just you and me. It really made me wish we could have more time together. I miss it so much it hurts.
You're obviously in school now. It's only pre-K but it's at the elementary school and you do things the big kids do like go to the playground, eat in the cafeteria, go to the library and check out books. You're learning a lot. The other day you came home with a hand-written list of all of your friends' names. That was impressive! Your teachers love you. You love them, too. I was worried at first that when you started school you were going to have trouble adjusting. You had only ever had me and Dad! But you settled in nicely and made lots of friends. Your birthday falls during the winter break, so I planned a party for you after break ended. January is so busy it got pushed to February! I hope all of your friends come. If not, there will still be lots of fun to be had. Granny and Mummum will be coming up to see and play with us.
I spend a lot of time admiring who you are becoming as a person. You're strong-willed, but compassionate and you care so much for Mabel. It makes me proud to be your mom. You wake up every morning with sleepy eyes and pull the blankets up tight around your neck. Like mama like daughter. I don't like getting out of bed either! But we do, and you and Mabel sit at the table and eat breakfast, get dressed and get ready for the day. We had been walking to school some days, but the weather got too cold and now we drive. As the teachers open the door at carpool you give me last goodbyes and greet your friends and classmates. You're always happy once we get to school, even if you act like it's a chore to go. And every afternoon when I pick you up, you race to the car with stories of how you got to play at the sand and water table or got to play house or with blocks. And your book bag is always stuffed to the brim with colorful drawings of you and me with hearts and "I love you"s and flowers and all kinds of things that make me smile. When we get home you are pretty good about putting your shoes and coat away, emptying your lunchbox and putting it into the sink and putting your book bag by the front door for the next day. If you have gotten a library book you're quick to toss it into my room for us to read that night. You really are getting the hang of the rhythm of things. You're getting to be a better eater, too. I can convince you to try most things but if you had your way it would be candy all the time. You're such a fiend for candy, just like Meanpa was. And me, too, I suppose. You like to watch television, too. Sometimes I joke that you are a couch potato, but when the weather is so cold and rainy, it's not much fun doing anything else. You like a show called Oddbots which is so mind-numbing for me, but apparently wildly entertaining for you. At bedtime we put pajamas on, read two books, brush our teeth and I carry you to your bed while saying "Choo-Choo!" like a train. I tuck you in, squeeze your hands, give you hugs, kisses and ugga-muggas (also known as eskimo kisses or nose nuzzles) and then you ask me one last question. Sometimes it's, "what are we doing tomorrow?" and sometimes its a little more from left field, like, "are trees nature?" I do my best to give you a good answer, but if I can't, you drift off to sleep considering what the answers could be. Inevitably you have to get up for a potty break or to get some water, so there will be extra kisses. And sometimes you have nightmares, which even the best fairies I could find couldn't prevent. But I calm you down and give you love and eventually you climb back into bed, ready to sleep and start the day over again.
Speaking of fairies, they're your THING. We read fairy books, play with toy fairies, talk about fairies and where they live, what they do, what they think about and you ask me a million and one questions about them. You have a handful of tiny wire fairies that you received for Christmas and between you and Mabel they are the must-haves for bedtime. You both fall asleep clutching them in your hands, hoping to wake up to the glow of them coming to life. I only wish that could truly happen. I remember believing so hard in fairies myself at your age, wishing I could just fly a little bit! Alas, we are mere humans. But dreams are where our imaginations can run free and wild and I hope that some nights you get to dream you are a fairy and playing with your fairy friends.
It's been so long since I thought about this blog and probably even longer since I've had the time and attention to sit down and write a letter. There are several partially-written drafts that I have saved from times where I thought I had more time to write. I may publish them even though they are incomplete. You'll know how busy I was/am!
Anyway, I love you my little Bean. You make my whole heart swell up with such happiness. You're truly one of a kind and I absolutely adore you.
Love,
Mom