January 2021

 Sweet Evelyn,

I know I recently updated, but I feel compelled to write tonight.

I felt a little unsettled tonight and decided to get my things organized for the next week of homeschooling. In doing so I began to think about how we have been doing this homeschool kindergarten for 19 weeks. Nineteen weeks we have sat around a table, on the floor, ran around outside trying to convey the information needed to place you in first grade this fall. My head spins just thinking about it. We are over halfway through the school year now. 

I went through my emails from your pre-K teacher, the ones from the beginning of this pandemic standing out to me. She had sent resources, learning websites at first. Then the kindergarten readiness guide to help us figure out the rest of what you needed to know before they you supposed to return to school in the fall. Instead we ended up homeschooling. Thankfully, that allowed us to go at our own pace. I went back through these resources and opened the ones I think of which may still get some use. Particularly the spelling and reading-related ones. You've done a great amount of exploring outdoors this year, but we have been sticking fairly close to our meager curriculum for reading exercises. I'm not impressed with the speed at which it seems to go, however. I don't typically align with the attitude of pressuring kids to learn everything, but I also don't want you to fall behind. 

This year we decided to re-commit to the 1000 hours outside goal that we probably reached last year, but didn't keep track. This year we are marking it on a sheet as well as tracking with an app. We've got 10.2 hours on day 4. To hit our goal, we need to average about 2.75 hours per day. I imagine in the Spring, Summer and Fall we will accumulate way more than we do in Winter. As I've told my friends, I can do cold and I can do wet, but I don't do cold and wet very well. And neither do you and your sister. So far you are enjoying the outings, making friends when we can and taking notes on things you see when we aren't with friends. One day you drew a duck that you saw. Today you found a dead raccoon under a pine tree by the trail and exclaimed, "That's the first raccoon I've seen in real life!" You were sad it was dead, but amazed nonetheless. You took note of its little teeth showing beneath a curled lip and postulated about how it came to meet its fate.

This time last year I was writing about how I wished we had more time together since you had started school. I guess I got my wish! Reading through your 5 year post made me tear up with sadness at how fast a year has flown by. And at how much you have changed, I have changed, everything has changed. I really find myself wishing I could be more for you and Mabel. More present, more courageous, more loving. Not that you are lacking in any of those, but I just wish I could give more. Your mind is expanding rapidly now to where I don't feel as though I can keep up with how much you want to know. I pick up on your eyes squinting as you try to read between the lines of comments and find the true meaning. You're learning to pick up on sarcasm fairly well and questioning a lot of the folk lore you've heard over the years. I doubt we have much more time with Santa and the Tooth Fairy. 

Here are some photos of our time spent outdoors this year: