Photos part 2

Photos!

Blocks!

Technically shes 4.75 months.

She's a big fan of the blocks. 

SHE'S SITTING UP BY HERSELF!!! :) [5.19.15]

We got some portraits done.

That face!

All the faces, really.

Four generations of ladies.

I love this one. 

:D

Baby in a crate!

<3

Four Months In

I am finding it more and more difficult to secure time to write. It seems that every time I'm inspired to write something down, I'm preoccupied with eating, feeding, cleaning, changing diapers or running errands. I've sort of been keeping a list of thoughts on my phone's memo pad, but I forget to date them and then they're not as useful. And of course when I do have time to write, I develop a massive writer's block. Sigh.
This will be my fourth attempt at a post in as many weeks. There are so many drafts on my computer that I could probably just combine them all and do a quick edit, but I feel like that's cheating somehow. So here is my hurried update before bed:

As of May 1st, Evelyn is off all seizure medication. Can I get a WOOHOO!? We've been keeping an eye on her and have observed no seizure-like activity so far. It took four months, but we did it! She still sees some specialists at the Duke Clinics, but we've dropped the neurologist for now. Over the next year or so, we will be dropping the geneticist, physical therapist and the others as well.
And now to the fun bits!

• As of the last post, Evelyn had begun to hold toys. Well, she's graduated to reaching for toys, picking up toys, and passing them from hand to hand. This is both a blessing and a curse. It's amazing to watch her interact with her surroundings. She loves suck on the ears of her plush Peeps bunny, but she also has started pulling Daddy's beard, stealing his glasses and grabbing at his neck during storytime before bed. He takes it in stride, though.
• Evelyn has completely weaned herself from a pacifier. She will hold it in her hand, but put it in her mouth and she acts like you're playing a trick on her. "This isn't a boob!" :O
• She is still anti-blankets, but we've discovered that her Aden + Anais blankets are acceptable to haphazardly wrap up in. They make great shades for the carseat, too. We got ours hand-me-down from a friend and they were already broken in so nicely. 
• Evie had been babbling the last time I posted, but she is more into raspberries and squeals these days. She likes to throw a loud chuckle out at some pretty inopportune moments (*ahem* the saddest part of the movie The Fault In Our Stars *ahem*). With all her raspberries comes a lot of drool, so we've invested in a ton of bibs. An unfortunate incident with an old bib led to a scratch from the velcro on the back of her neck, so we looked for softer ones and found the Tommee Tippee ones to be acceptable. The padded ring for the neck is awesome too, because that is usually where her now-only-occasional spitup ends up collecting with some dog/cat fur and my ever-thinning hair. All that drool has not led to any teeth though.
• She's figured out how to roll over onto her tummy from her back both ways. I love watching her do this. I'm not sure if other babies do it this way, but Evie grabs her feet and then rocks over onto her side, lets go of her feet and then flattens out. Its adorable, but I'm sure every mom thinks their kid is adorable (duh). 
• Evie is still sleeping amazingly through the night, but now when she stirs to breastfeed at whatever time (we no longer wake up enough to have to check the clock), if I don't wake up fast enough for her, she smacks my breast in her sleep while grunting. Kind of cute, kind of annoying.
• Though she hasn't quite mastered the art of sitting up on her own, she is a big fan of assisted standing. Per the PT's orders, this isn't something I can let her do often yet, so I try not to do it, but she sometimes just straightens her legs crazily and I can't get her to sit until she gets to stand and beam for a moment. I have to admit, that smile does light up my whole world. She looks like a superhero who just saved the city. 
• Daddy's contribution to the list is his favorite development: when Evelyn is in her swing or sitting on the couch against some pillows and he goes to pick her up, she kicks her legs and flails her arms and leans forward. She knows he's there for her. 

For the record: at 4 months, Evie weighed in at 17.5 lbs, 26 inches long, putting her roughly in the 97th percentiles for weight and height. The doctors are amazed that she is fully breastfed because apparently breastfed babies tend to be on the lower end of the charts. I must make whole milk. ;)

It's bedtime, but hopefully I will find some time in the near future to add more. Goodnight readers!

Catch-up & Flashback

Before I begin the meat of this post, I thought I'd catch us up on some things. First, I developed my first bout of mastitis on March 30th. I had gone hiking with Gavin, my brother Jake and his girlfriend Meli at Duke Gardens. Evie didn't want to nurse much the whole time we were there so when I finally got home to nurse her, it was probably too late. I pumped 13 ounces after she had eaten, took a hot shower and went to bed. I developed shivers as soon as I laid down and woke up with a terrible fever in the night. The next morning my breasts were bright red so I called the doc. I'm still on the antibiotic, which is 4x a day for two weeks (whew!).


Some new developments for Evie:

• You're having grumpier days. Now that you're off one medicine, theres less to sedate you so more awake time means more time to be fussy. 
• You've started holding things. My hand when you nurse, your paci when it falls out, toys that are around you. You pull your blanket to your face and suck on your burp cloths. 
• You have a give or take attitude when it comes to your pacifier. This is good, because your brother dog has decided they are delicious. 
• You're not a fan of blankets/sheets/anything on your legs. You tolerate pants for awhile each day, but inevitably you end up in bed naked except for a diaper. I don't mind, I love looking at your little dinner rolls. 
• You're a Chatty Cathy and a Nosey Nelly. You'll talk to anyone who'll give you the time of day and in the car today on the way home from the mall with your friend Salem, you had to be leaning wayyy over to see what was going on in her car seat. 
• You've begun to drool a lot more and suck in your bottom lip (a la Cabbage Patch Kids) and we're pretty sure that means you're going to cut teeth soon. (Save the nipples!)

And now for the real reason for this post.

Last week I got a call from a nurse in the NICU. She said there was milk left over from Evie's stay and that I could come get it on Monday. Since Gavin had to work overnight Sunday into Monday, Evie and I spent the night with my mom and on Monday afternoon we headed to Duke Hospital.

My mom pulled into the loop and I looked up at the building, experiencing the first of many unexpected emotions. Was it dread? I'm not sure. The feeling stuck with me as I walked through the lobby, eyeing all the patients and family members I passed. At the elevators I had almost forgotten which button to press, but it came back to me. The nurse at the NICU desk was the same nurse I'd spoken to dozens of times but she didn't recognize me. I could still hear the echo though, "Nurse for Baby Johnson? Mom is here. Okay, Sweetheart, go on back."

I heard her go through the same routine with a couple other parents while waiting for the Charge Nurse. I saw parents who looked like I'd looked, weathered and weary and tired yet still strong. A couple wearing matching Superman T-shirts reminded me that Evie is one of the lucky ones. I think when you get to the point of wearing matching T-shirts, your baby has probably been there awhile and is probably going to continue to be there awhile longer. 

Finally the nurse rolled a cart out with three bins of my milk. She picked each bottle up to verify it was mine before handing it to me. It through me back to the desperate every-3-hours pumping sessions in the beginning. Trying to eat, get Gavin to work and take care of our animals 40 minutes away from Evie while still pumping seemed next to impossible at the time. Each drop was liquid gold and I cried over spilled milk over a dozen times. Most of the bottles being returned to me were colostrum. I have pictures on my phone of me, proud mama face on, holding up the 1 ounce I managed to pump while still in recovery. I can get 8 ounces per breast on a good day, now. I packed up each precious bottle in my cooler bags, thanked the nurse and walked back down the halls. I passed the scrapbook of NICU babies for the last time and recalled absent-mindedly flipping through it, wondering if Evie would one day have a page. (I'm happy to say that it's looking more probable every day!)

Walking out of the hospital I knew this wouldn't be my last visit. Evie still has appointments and her pharmacy is in the building, but I still felt this gush of relief leaving. By the time I got back to my mom and Evie at the car I had tears in my eyes. It was such a cathartic thing to be able to say goodbye to the NICU for the last time. And now my freezer is overflowing with the "good stuff". :)

Memory Book

I have spend the first 10 weeks of your life occasionally worrying that you wont have a memory book like I did growing up. I never found the perfect "Baby's 1sts" book that I was looking for so I finally bought a baby-themed smashbook to use. It sat on the bookshelf for a few weeks gathering dust because I was spending all of my time with you! No time to cut & paste and collect and recall stuff. Granted, I made time for this blog, but its less intensive I think, than gathering all of the craft supplies and figuring out placements for pictures.
Well, I finally found the time yesterday while Daddy held you. I don't have too many pictures printed out since I almost never get out to the store to do it, but I put all that I had in the book. I also found the crib card and our hospital bracelets as well as the original BFP test! It was so much fun to do that I've motivated myself to go back out and get some more pictures printed for it. So look forward to a massive post where I share my creative works of art!
And in the meantime, here are some more happy things about you:

• You are an evening person. Currently it is 1:45pm and you're still asleep. You had a brief awakening to cry for Daddy this morning while I was at an appointment, but you quickly gulped a bottle and passed back out. 
• You absolutely LOVE the song Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. I think its because you get to move so much. Your favorite part is "knees to toes" because you fly forward. You get a great big smile on your face and so of course we do it like 5 more times.
• A lot of people have asked if I cut your hair. Why? you may ask. Well, your bangs grow straight across like I took a pair of scissors and just trimmed them up. It's such a perfect line, most people don't believe me when I say I haven't touched them.
• This week you are starting to look less like a squishy baby and more like a little person. It is bittersweet for me because I don't want you to grow up so fast, but I can't wait for what you have in store for me next. 

All my love, 

Mommy

Another Perfect Day

This morning we woke up to a thick fog outside. The dogs wouldn't even leave the porch. Gavin had an early eye appointment and it was overcast once the fog cleared. Evie was still pretty sleepy, her vaccinations from yesterday had made her grumpy and she was still trying to sleep it off.
After the eye appointment we stopped to walk my brother's dog and grab some lunch. When we got out from lunch the sky was clear and the sun was shining. We decided to spend the day outdoors.
First stop was the cemetery. It has a nice paved path, beautiful trees and my grandfathers are there. We brought the camera and got some photos.

Evie began to get fussy, so we packed her up and drove around looking through new neighborhoods, half wishing we had a nice house and friendly neighbors and half thankful we have the privacy of living where you can't throw a rock and hit a neighbor's house. We stopped at a closed up gas station and abandoned motor-inn. Supposedly Babe Ruth had stopped in there at some point. 

It was getting close to the 5 o'clock rush hour so we headed home before we got caught in traffic. There was still sun left so we spread a blanket on the porch and took advantage of the last of it. Evie had a lot of fun spending her tummy time outdoors and was not a happy camper when we had to go inside.

Here's a bonus picture of her deciding it wasn't the best thing to be outside after all:

She's such a cutie. All in all a perfect day. :)

A Sunny Day

Today was the first sunny day in what feels like forever. Gavin and I decided to take Evie to the park for a walk and to get some fresh air. The snow had us feeling quite blue so it would help perk us all up. Here are some pictures. 

It turned out to be quite windy, so we didnt stay out as long as we planned, but it worked out well because we went to the thrift stores in the area and got a bunch of baby books for Evie and Gavin found a ton of records. One store charged just 10 cents per record! Awesome!

Evie was pretty grouchy by the end of the day and wanted nothing to do with being worn or her carseat, so we headed home. She quickly snuggled up with Daddy for an afternoon nap.