Panic and Lemonheads

All day today I have been trying to find distraction. I have gone out to eat, hung out with my brother, cleaned my house, watched Gilmore Girls and I am still 2.5 hours from picking Gavin up from work. Once he is home I can easily be distracted, but all this time to myself to think about tomorrow's induction is driving me batty. 

I really thought Evelyn would be here by now. 

I really thought I wouldn't have to have an induction. Part of me is really considering putting off the induction since it doesn't really make a difference if I have it tomorrow or on the 3rd or the 10th or whenever because she's obviously not coming this year. I only hoped to schedule an induction in 2014 so that she could be born this year and we could use the tax credit to allow me to stay home a little longer. 

Now I'm scared that we wont have that option. And I'm freaking out about money and how we will afford the necessary things we need to survive. 

I know our families wouldn't let us go without and that all I'd have to do is ask for help. I'm grateful for that. But I'm scared that we will be in over our heads. It's time to stop spending money superfluously and focus on keeping the budget. The one I had created when we moved into this house has worked really well for us, but I know there will be expenses I don't even know about yet. And that makes me sweat.

On a brighter note, I'm savoring the last moments of pregnancy by giving in to the cravings. Real Coca-Cola, Lemonheads candies and eggnog by the quart. A funny story about the lemonheads from earlier today:

I had to drive to the other side of town to pick up a keyboard that was being given away for free on a buy/sell/trade site. On the way I passed through something lemon-y smelling and my mind seized on Lemonheads. I have been craving these for most of the last few months, since a trip to Rocketfizz sent me home with some in a bag of assorted candies. I found some at a gas station up the street and bought a couple 25 cent boxes, only to return later to finish buying up their stash. My step-mom gave me some for Christmas in my stocking and they were quickly devoured. When the craving returned today I decided to find some for today and maybe an extra box for the hospital bag. 

The first place I stopped I figured would for sure have them: The Dollar Tree. Granted, it wasn't the one by the movie theater, I assumed they'd have the theater boxes of them since they had every other candy known to man. I was wrong. :( The only Lemonhead candy they had was Lemonhead and Friends bags of smaller bags of candy. Even though it was only $1, I don't think I would like the other kinds. 

The second place I stopped was another little country gas station-esque place like the one up the street from me, but closer to town. I discovered they had ORANGEheads but no Lemonheads. I've never even heard of Orangeheads, but talk about a let-down!

I called my brother to complain about the Orangeheads and the Lemonheads and Friends and he suggested I try the gas station across the street and next to his favorite restaurant. He swore he had seen them there. I believed him and it was just across the street so I went on over. 

GRAPEHEADS. They had GRAPEHEADS. Again, I've never even heard of Grapeheads! But no Lemonheads in sight. 

I finally did find Lemonheads after being discouraged one last time at RiteAid (at least they were just sold out there). Walgreens was to the rescue, and even had them on sale. I bought 3 boxes. 

I hope I still like Lemonheads after Evelyn is born. 

The Overdue Club

I am just a little under an hour shy of being 8 days overdue. For the last week I've been feeling a range of emotions and contractions. Gavin's parents came to visit for a few days and we ate all kinds of delicious food and made sure to get out of the house some instead of just sitting around waiting for Evie.
Christmas Eve, they went to visit his sister and we headed to the doctor for a visit. Doc said that I'm 2cm dilated and swept my membranes (I was hesitant about this, but oh-so impatient so I went ahead and let her). I don't know for sure, but the only difference I can tell is that my contractions got a little stronger but no more measurable.
Christmas day I didn't really feel too many contractions but I admit I was distracted by all the celebration.
My mom came to visit a couple days in a row to clean and Gavin helped his friend move. We were expecting one of those plans to set Evie into action, but no, she's comfortable.
Gavin's parents came back by last night on the way back from his sister's and we sat up late talking and enjoying each others' company. They left this afternoon after lunch.
Although it goes without saying that I'm pretty over being pregnant, I still get asked pretty regularly how I'm feeling and I am trying to answer patiently. I don't know what else to say, so I know I sound like a broken record repeating, "Ready when she is!" and, "Tired, but she's gotta come out eventually, right!?"
So sorry if you're reading this and tired of hearing the same answers. It's true though, what I say.
I have also been bombarded by everyone's favorite way to induce labor. Walking, sex, spicy food, pineapple, bouncing on a ball, orgasming, yoga, castor oil, even smoking pot. I haven't tried it all obviously, but I imagine that none of it has been proven to induce labor and I'm not going to endanger myself or Evelyn for something that must eventually happen.
My mind is pretty disorganized, as you can probably tell from this really thrown-together post, but I wanted to make one since I have the time. Thanks for reading!

Due Date!!

I woke up this morning to snow flurries outside my window. Gavin asked for a ride to work and on the way home the snow turned to rain. But the drive out was very beautiful.
I have been waiting for this day since I first saw those two pink lines. I am a little disappointed that nothing seems to be happening, but no baby ever comes on their due date, right? And here I thought little Evie would get here early! I should have known she'd hang in there. I don't blame her, though. It IS chilly out here.
It seems like everyone has a little advice on how to bring about labor. Pineapple juice, yoga, sex, pumping...you name it. My step-mom told me the only thing she had to do was make plans and BAM my sister was ready for the world. So maybe I'll make plans for this evening. Gavin's parents are coming in for the weekend, so they'll be around if I need a ride.
I have no idea what to do with myself in the meantime. I have been off of work for a week now and though the beginning of this week was busy with school and doctor appointments and taking my little kitten Sam to get neutered, the plans I made for the last few days were all put off so I wouldn't worry about being too far from home if I went into labor. But maybe I should've kept them!
Last night I watched Gavin finally get into a nesting state of mind. We began by putting up the mirrors in the bathroom. They looked super nice, so he kept his hammer and nails out and started hanging up all the pictures and posters we've been putting off hanging since we moved in. Now every wall in our house has a little something on it. We got the place cleaned up in the last few days, so I have no cleaning to do. The early arrival of the dryer allowed us to get all of the clothes washed and dried as well. So here I sit.
I hope its not this dull after Evelyn gets here. I know she will be sleeping a lot to begin with, but I hope I can still find things to do. Maybe I'll listen to every record we own. TV doesn't keep my attention that well, though I am slowly making my way through the Gilmore Girls series. I'm on season 5 currently and I've decided that after its over, I'll either take a break from Netflix entirely or only watch it when breastfeeding.
Well, time to find something to do!

Numbers

Nine days til the due date.
Two shifts left at work.
One more session of class.
Two weeks until Christmas.

My heart is racing and my head is spinning. Every time I think about how by this time next month I will be holding my little girl in my arms, I let out a little squee. I can't believe how fast time is flying. It feels like just yesterday I was panicking about what stuff she would need. And now here I am, nursery completed, bug-out bag packed, car seat installed and house in relatively baby-ready condition. Is this real? IS IT REAL YET? (As Gavin would say).
I keep trying to picture what the next few months will be like on a daily basis. When she finally arrives, of course I will be surrounded by all my family and friends who are so eager to help out. But after the freshness wears off and it's just me and little Evie each morning, will I be waking up at the crack of dawn? Sooner? Will we snuggle on the couch and binge watch Gilmore Girls while I breastfeed and what about on Gavin's days off? Will we be doing all the exploring that we have been planning? I really hope Evie likes the Ergo, because that is what I plan to use when we go out into the woods! :)
I wonder if we will get stir-crazy being inside or if each other's company will be just the right balance. Will I all of a sudden have the motivation to be the super-housekeeper I always dreamed of being? I wonder if she will appreciate listening to all of Gavin's records. I wonder if we will spend more time in her room, my room, the living room? How are the animals going to accept her? Well, I hope. They like her stuff for sleeping so far. I dream of holding her.

I would like to apologize for not writing as much. If you could see the position I'm in right now, you'd laugh. My laptop is in my lap, but my arms are wrapped way around my big belly, barely reaching the keyboard. It's a struggle, I tell ya.
Hopefully there will be time to keep up with this after she is born.