Evie is a chatterbox these days. We lay her down to bed and she stares up at the mobile above and just babbles on and on at it, cooing with such glee. It makes my heart melt.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Documentation
On this snow day, Evie and I lay together on the couch. She is on my chest, asleep and content and I am on my laptop, somehow comfortable and able to type. The last few days I have been noticing all these little things about Evie that make me want to write them down. But for some reason I cannot. Maybe I just dont have the right notebook or I can't seem to find the time. So even though this isn't my keepsake baby book, I have access to it at a time when I can still think of some of these moments.
So without further ado, for Evie:
1. Watching you sleep is the best thing in the world. You let your little mouth hang open just a bit and your sweet breath comes out in little puffs. Sometimes the corners of your mouth pull back, giving you the happiest of grins. Even better, you have a mirthful laugh that starts as a tiny giggle. My heart explodes when you do this. I wish you could always be this small and content.
2. The other day I had you in my arms and you were gazing up at me with all the wonder you could muster. I looked back at you and popped my lips. You smiled. I did it a few more times as you looked on. Then you started opening and closing your mouth. You were trying to do it too! Talk about an incredible feeling. I clicked my tongue and watched as you moved your tongue around in your mouth trying to imitate. I cried, you know. Watching you figure out life in the tiniest ways does that to me.
3. You are probably the only baby I know that actually appreciates her mobile. In fact, you love that thing so much, I'm pretty sure you consider it a third parent. Each night as we lay you down, you turn your eyes up to it and smile. When we twist the knob and the music starts, your eyes widen with wonder and amazement. When it gets going, you start talking to it. Maybe you are singing along? Telling it a story? Expressing your love? Who knows. One thing is for certain: its a necessary part of bedtime.
4. Right now you've accepted that baths are a part of life. You don't mind having your face wiped, as long as you're warm, the tub is not the enemy. This is great. Now if only we could get you on board with the booger aspirator.
5. Company is a must for you. I don't know how I will ever get back to work since every time I am not in your line of sight (and Daddy is not around), you turn on the water works. It breaks my heart.
6. Speaking of water works....last night Daddy went outside with the dogs. When he came back in, his hands were pretty cold and he joked about putting them on your tummy. Well, being the terrible mommy I apparently am, I thought, "cold sensation, this can be a learning experience!" and I put Daddy's hands down on your tummy. Your eyes got wiiiiiide and you took a moment, but then the saddest pout ever began and was followed by a heartbreaking cry. Well of course I felt awful. I held you and patted your back, offered you comfort nursing and the whole shebang. You got over it pretty quickly. I am still dealing with my emotions for having made you cry. I am still so sorry.
So that is all I can think of right now, but for the sake of organization, You are 8 weeks and one day old today. Maybe I will have a list per week?
So without further ado, for Evie:
1. Watching you sleep is the best thing in the world. You let your little mouth hang open just a bit and your sweet breath comes out in little puffs. Sometimes the corners of your mouth pull back, giving you the happiest of grins. Even better, you have a mirthful laugh that starts as a tiny giggle. My heart explodes when you do this. I wish you could always be this small and content.
2. The other day I had you in my arms and you were gazing up at me with all the wonder you could muster. I looked back at you and popped my lips. You smiled. I did it a few more times as you looked on. Then you started opening and closing your mouth. You were trying to do it too! Talk about an incredible feeling. I clicked my tongue and watched as you moved your tongue around in your mouth trying to imitate. I cried, you know. Watching you figure out life in the tiniest ways does that to me.
3. You are probably the only baby I know that actually appreciates her mobile. In fact, you love that thing so much, I'm pretty sure you consider it a third parent. Each night as we lay you down, you turn your eyes up to it and smile. When we twist the knob and the music starts, your eyes widen with wonder and amazement. When it gets going, you start talking to it. Maybe you are singing along? Telling it a story? Expressing your love? Who knows. One thing is for certain: its a necessary part of bedtime.
4. Right now you've accepted that baths are a part of life. You don't mind having your face wiped, as long as you're warm, the tub is not the enemy. This is great. Now if only we could get you on board with the booger aspirator.
5. Company is a must for you. I don't know how I will ever get back to work since every time I am not in your line of sight (and Daddy is not around), you turn on the water works. It breaks my heart.
6. Speaking of water works....last night Daddy went outside with the dogs. When he came back in, his hands were pretty cold and he joked about putting them on your tummy. Well, being the terrible mommy I apparently am, I thought, "cold sensation, this can be a learning experience!" and I put Daddy's hands down on your tummy. Your eyes got wiiiiiide and you took a moment, but then the saddest pout ever began and was followed by a heartbreaking cry. Well of course I felt awful. I held you and patted your back, offered you comfort nursing and the whole shebang. You got over it pretty quickly. I am still dealing with my emotions for having made you cry. I am still so sorry.
So that is all I can think of right now, but for the sake of organization, You are 8 weeks and one day old today. Maybe I will have a list per week?
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| 8 weeks old |
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| Clockwise from top left: 1 hour old, 2 weeks old, four weeks old, 7 weeks old and 8 weeks old in the center. |
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Quick Update: Allison!
My good friend Allison who discovered she was on the same journey as me a couple months after I found out I was pregnant is in labor! I'm so excited and can't wait for the arrival of her little girl.
I don't believe I've mentioned Allison yet, but we probably met for the first time as 8 year old cheerleaders way back when. We reunited at the movie theater we both worked for in 2010 and then every time we would switch jobs, we'd make room for each other. Flip flop stand, dry cleaners, etc.
We also happened to go to the same college but missed each other by a year. Crazy coincidences all around and when we found out we were both expecting I was ecstatic!
I'll update again when I can! :)
I don't believe I've mentioned Allison yet, but we probably met for the first time as 8 year old cheerleaders way back when. We reunited at the movie theater we both worked for in 2010 and then every time we would switch jobs, we'd make room for each other. Flip flop stand, dry cleaners, etc.
We also happened to go to the same college but missed each other by a year. Crazy coincidences all around and when we found out we were both expecting I was ecstatic!
I'll update again when I can! :)
Free Dog
Yesterday I mourned the loss of a set of pumping parts. Specifically the breastshield, connector and a nice, big, expensive Medela bottle.
I had left the house around noon to take Gavin to work and to bring a diaper cake of newborn-sized diapers to a woman who needed them since Evie never wore that size even from birth. I was doing a good thing! Karma, where were you!?
I had left the house around noon to take Gavin to work and to bring a diaper cake of newborn-sized diapers to a woman who needed them since Evie never wore that size even from birth. I was doing a good thing! Karma, where were you!?
I ran a few other errands and visited my mom and grandma and had lunch with them and my brother. I finally made it back home with Evie in tow a little after 4pm. I opened the door and was greeted by both of my dogs, all happy and cheerful and even though Syd was carrying his stuffed animal pelt (I'll explain that in a minute), he didn't mind running right up and stuffing his nose in Evie's face and giving us both the sniff-down.
I checked the kitchen and living room to see if he had pulled a diaper out of the trash, but both were clear. I sat on the couch with Evie and let her nurse away the anxiety that comes with riding in the car and not being an inch away from me.
When she was done I went to go get the pump since I'm also donating milk to a lady in town who can't produce enough. I go to the bedroom where the pump was left the night before and discover that Syd has stolen a bottle with the attached shield and connector and chewed them all to pieces on the bed. Here is the aftermath, gathered:
Naturally, I lost my shit.
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| RIP |
Well, I would have, if Evie hadn't been in the house. Instead I chased Syd outside and locked him out in the (fenced-in) yard until Gavin came home. I tried to salvage what I could. The yellow piece that the membrane connects to somehow survived but the breastshield was chewed just enough to not work and be extremely painful when tried.
When Gavin got home I told him Syd would have to be crated if he was allowed back in. And not just while we're gone, but for the rest of the night. I couldn't look at him, I wanted to kill him. But I love animals and could never, yadda yadda yadda. Still.
This morning I let him out of the crate after getting an earful of whimpers all night. He looked really apologetic so I forgave him.
I was lucky enough to meet another mom on facebook who had a similar problem, but instead of 27mm shields being chewed, she had her 24mm ones destroyed by her pup. I have an extra set of 24mm I've never used, so we are going to trade. Yay for the internet! And another mom donated a big Medela bottle to me from her set, which she no longer uses since they are beyond the breastfeeding age.
So it all worked out in the end, but I did keep finding little pieces of plastic in the bed last night. And in case you're wondering, no none of it was actually eaten by my idiot dog. We were able to piece together the remains and concluded this morning that he was just being a jerk.
Also I should add that I have to take some responsibility because I left the bottle and pump parts within reach in the bassinet beside our bed. (You know, the one that was supposed to be for Evie but she refuses to sleep in so it's been a catch-all for midnight diapers and all the random stuff that accumulates with babies that co-sleep).
And before I forget...Syd's stuffed animal pelt/any stuffed animal he hasn't yet gutted: he likes to carry these around when he knows he's done something wrong. Sort of a last-ditch "you-can't-hurt-me-in-front-of-my-baby!" effort. He occasionally uses them as a security blanket, but mostly for sympathy. He's a weirdo.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
A Day In The Life
Evie has been home for about three weeks now. We have dealt with missed doses of medicine, her first virus, a dip in breastmilk production and her ever-changing sleep schedule (including the mistake of drinking two sodas before attempting to breastfeeding her to sleep). I have not yet settled us into a routine, although our days go roughly as follows:
9:30 am-medicine alarm #1 goes off. Sleepily pull 2 syringes and the meds from the diaper bag. Administer meds as best as I can, trying to avoid the inevitable red stain on the bed from the pheobarbital and the yellow stain from her vitamin D supplement. Fail miserably. Remove syringe, add boob and resume snuggling until she passes back out (not very long).
10:00 am-give up on getting myself back to sleep. Attempt to rouse Evie again with a boob in the face, get rebuffed. Decide to pump.
11:00 am-got distracted by netflix while pumping, accidentally pump for almost 45 minutes. Oops. Get text from Dad asking how the morning is going and saying how beautiful/crappy it is outside. Respond with a photo of snoozing Evie.
12:30 pm-medicine alarm #2 goes off. Manage to get syringe of trileptal to the back of her mouth so she has no choice but to swallow rather than spit it out all over me. Win. Nurse for a bit, then change her clothes and back to sleep for her.
1:30 pm-Sometimes around this time she finally decides to wake up, but usually I just bring her into the living room with me to try to get stuff done. Either lay her in the swing or wear her in the mei tai/ergo and vacuum or tidy up the house. If yesterday's outfit is embarrassingly old milk-scented, change into a new set of yoga pants/leggings and another shirt that your mom donated to goodwill in 1983. Wool socks if I can find any, too.
3:00 pm-Another text from Dad, reminding me its lunch time. Oops, forgot to think about eating. Snoozy Suzie has finally decided to join the conscious and is acting like I've starved her. Feed her first, then myself. As she is awake and not wanting to be left alone even for a moment, lunch is oatmeal or cheez-its and a half gallon of water. Yesterday it was granola and chocolate chips with honey, shredded coconut and ground flax seed.
4:00 pm-exercise/tummy time. Some struggling occurs as she bends her neck in an insane way to get a view of the TV where Netflix is playing a not-very-baby-friendly show. Meh, its out of her vision range right now. Then some couch snuggles and bonding over a babble conversation. Pump if the mood strikes me.
5:00 pm-Dad comes home, kisses for all, and start dinner. Contemplate leaving the house for food/supplies but ultimately decide to scrounge whatever we have here. Soup, quesodillas, white castle burgers (for Dad), maybe a salad. Quorn chicken cutlets with gruyere if we're feeling fancy. Green beans and rice on the side. Evie, of course, eats first.
6:30 pm-unite on the couch and Dad snuggles Evie while I beat level 533 in Candy Crush. Netflix runs in the background.
9:30 pm-Medicine time again! Same battle, different time of day. Console the angry with a boob and snuggles and resume the Netflix binge.
11:30 pm-Evie has decided to pass out for a bit again, you know, because she wants to be soooo asleep when it comes time to take her second dose of trileptal.
12:30 am-second dose of trileptal and then everyone in the bedroom for story time and going to sleep. I pump while Dad reads to Evie from Magritte's Imagination.
1:30 am-what's that? I'm done pumping? Suddenly Evie is starving again. Boob or bottle, boob or bottle. Trying to build the stash for backup/donation, so I offer the boob. She somehow manages to get milk out of the empty deflated sacks I once called my sexy pillows. (Okay, you got me, I never called them that).
2:00 am-did I forget that I had a coke float for dessert? Because Evie didn't forget! All that caffeine was awesome, not to mention the SUGAR! O.O Cue the loud happy sounds of a baby that doesn't believe in sleep anymore.
3:00 am-move to the guest room because someone got the hiccups and now the happy coos are frustrated shouts accompanied by intense flailing. At least lets let Dad get some sleep. Avett Brothers songs on youtube to the rescue! Rock her and sing to her and fall in love with the smiles and laughter that come out.
4:00 am-give up on life, carry her back to our bedroom even though she's wide awake. Lay her down and offer boob even though I know it is probably still tainted with caffeine. By some miracle she nurses to sleep. Spend another half hour playing Candy Crush to wind down.
4:30 am-pass out myself.
Repeat.
I was so impressed when she first came home from the hospital and could sleep through the night. It's clear now that I was in some sort of babymoon trance. She quickly transitioned out of that stroke of luck. I guess I never really did believe I'd make it to the 9:30 am local mommy meet-ups, though I'd still like to try one day. There's plenty to do at home in the meantime.
9:30 am-medicine alarm #1 goes off. Sleepily pull 2 syringes and the meds from the diaper bag. Administer meds as best as I can, trying to avoid the inevitable red stain on the bed from the pheobarbital and the yellow stain from her vitamin D supplement. Fail miserably. Remove syringe, add boob and resume snuggling until she passes back out (not very long).
10:00 am-give up on getting myself back to sleep. Attempt to rouse Evie again with a boob in the face, get rebuffed. Decide to pump.
11:00 am-got distracted by netflix while pumping, accidentally pump for almost 45 minutes. Oops. Get text from Dad asking how the morning is going and saying how beautiful/crappy it is outside. Respond with a photo of snoozing Evie.
12:30 pm-medicine alarm #2 goes off. Manage to get syringe of trileptal to the back of her mouth so she has no choice but to swallow rather than spit it out all over me. Win. Nurse for a bit, then change her clothes and back to sleep for her.
1:30 pm-Sometimes around this time she finally decides to wake up, but usually I just bring her into the living room with me to try to get stuff done. Either lay her in the swing or wear her in the mei tai/ergo and vacuum or tidy up the house. If yesterday's outfit is embarrassingly old milk-scented, change into a new set of yoga pants/leggings and another shirt that your mom donated to goodwill in 1983. Wool socks if I can find any, too.
3:00 pm-Another text from Dad, reminding me its lunch time. Oops, forgot to think about eating. Snoozy Suzie has finally decided to join the conscious and is acting like I've starved her. Feed her first, then myself. As she is awake and not wanting to be left alone even for a moment, lunch is oatmeal or cheez-its and a half gallon of water. Yesterday it was granola and chocolate chips with honey, shredded coconut and ground flax seed.
4:00 pm-exercise/tummy time. Some struggling occurs as she bends her neck in an insane way to get a view of the TV where Netflix is playing a not-very-baby-friendly show. Meh, its out of her vision range right now. Then some couch snuggles and bonding over a babble conversation. Pump if the mood strikes me.
5:00 pm-Dad comes home, kisses for all, and start dinner. Contemplate leaving the house for food/supplies but ultimately decide to scrounge whatever we have here. Soup, quesodillas, white castle burgers (for Dad), maybe a salad. Quorn chicken cutlets with gruyere if we're feeling fancy. Green beans and rice on the side. Evie, of course, eats first.
6:30 pm-unite on the couch and Dad snuggles Evie while I beat level 533 in Candy Crush. Netflix runs in the background.
9:30 pm-Medicine time again! Same battle, different time of day. Console the angry with a boob and snuggles and resume the Netflix binge.
11:30 pm-Evie has decided to pass out for a bit again, you know, because she wants to be soooo asleep when it comes time to take her second dose of trileptal.
12:30 am-second dose of trileptal and then everyone in the bedroom for story time and going to sleep. I pump while Dad reads to Evie from Magritte's Imagination.
1:30 am-what's that? I'm done pumping? Suddenly Evie is starving again. Boob or bottle, boob or bottle. Trying to build the stash for backup/donation, so I offer the boob. She somehow manages to get milk out of the empty deflated sacks I once called my sexy pillows. (Okay, you got me, I never called them that).
2:00 am-did I forget that I had a coke float for dessert? Because Evie didn't forget! All that caffeine was awesome, not to mention the SUGAR! O.O Cue the loud happy sounds of a baby that doesn't believe in sleep anymore.
3:00 am-move to the guest room because someone got the hiccups and now the happy coos are frustrated shouts accompanied by intense flailing. At least lets let Dad get some sleep. Avett Brothers songs on youtube to the rescue! Rock her and sing to her and fall in love with the smiles and laughter that come out.
4:00 am-give up on life, carry her back to our bedroom even though she's wide awake. Lay her down and offer boob even though I know it is probably still tainted with caffeine. By some miracle she nurses to sleep. Spend another half hour playing Candy Crush to wind down.
4:30 am-pass out myself.
Repeat.
I was so impressed when she first came home from the hospital and could sleep through the night. It's clear now that I was in some sort of babymoon trance. She quickly transitioned out of that stroke of luck. I guess I never really did believe I'd make it to the 9:30 am local mommy meet-ups, though I'd still like to try one day. There's plenty to do at home in the meantime.
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