"Quick work for a girl who didn't want kids"

Believe it or not, the title is a quote from a relative who I respect and love dearly. But for the record, that's an incredibly rude thing to say.

I am 26 years old. I have tattoos, I am overweight, I almost never get myself very 'put-together' looking for work or anything else. I am almost 11 weeks pregnant. I have had 2 abortions and one molar pregnancy and for a long time I said I didn't want kids. I grew up in a broken household with parents that fought and fought until they divorced. I got passed between parents and grandparents and to be honest, I loved my childhood. I think I had a lot of fun and got a lot out of a shitty situation. But I knew that if I wasn't sure I was 100% devoted to whomever I decided to spend my life with, I wasn't going to have kids because I could not bear the thought of putting them through a split. I worried, also, that any kid brought into this world would suffer a sad future. The way we are treating the world is a terrible thing. I'm not innocent of it either. I don't always recycle, I drive more than I should and I am not always a decent human being to others. I knew that at that point in my life, I couldn't get myself through tough times, much less a little person who needed me.
But then I met Gavin. And we fell in love. Hopelessly, hopelessly in love.
Gavin wasn't keen on kids either. When we first met he said there was always time in the future if we changed our minds. I agreed. Time went by, we married, and then about 5 months in, we conceived! Not exactly on purpose, but we weren't being super careful either. And I have no regrets about that. There are so many different ways to start a family and I don't think our way is any less valid than anyone else's.
Now, I understand that in my younger days I was very clear that I did not want kids. I had many conversations with people who believed I would change my mind. I adamantly opposed that. I really didn't think I would! But my biological imperative got the best of me. I found myself feeling baby clothes in Target and noticing the giant eyes peeping up out of the strollers that passed me on the sidewalk. There was an urge.
So Gavin and I discussed having kids. We decided we could do it.
And then, a few weeks later, we got into a fight that left me feeling uncertain and I decided I wasn't ready. So we stopped trying again.
But we made up and then we decided to take it casually. We would take whatever came at us.
And pretty soon, we got a positive test result.
Even though I knew that it was what I wanted, I still felt anxiety from it. This is not a small change. This is like, the biggest thing that has ever happened to me. SOMETHING IS GROWING INSIDE ME!!! I had a million thoughts running through my head.
So in addition to dealing with the fact that I am now an incubator for a being which I will not meet for months, I have the task of letting people know this.
I should specify that am not a very center-of-attention person. I think at some point I was, maybe in middle and high school, but somewhere along the lines I decided to hit the sidelines and make myself comfortable. At my own wedding I felt out of place being the one upon which everyone rested their gaze. It was a wonderful day and I was surrounded by people I love, but it was very stressful for me and I felt too vulnerable being in the spotlight.
So with that being said, telling people that Gavin and I are pregnant was on the very bottom of my list of things I'd like to do. I told my mom and some close friends and family but I felt weird doing it. I didn't have the confidence I felt like I should have had to say "We're pregnant!" and it came out sounding almost like I was ashamed. And I hate that. I am not ashamed to be pregnant. I am ashamed I don't feel comfortable saying it. I think the root of this is that I still feel like someone is going to say "but you're so young!" or "how irresponsible!" when really, I'm at an appropriate reproducing age and in a very stable relationship. There's nothing irresponsible about it, except environmentally speaking, if you consider the toll humans take on earth. But when you're raised in an era where teenage pregnancy is both rampant and looked down upon and everyone judges everyone else's decisions whether or not they know the motivations behind them, well, it's easy to take it to heart that being pregnant is a bad thing.
The other root I can think of has actually been confirmed. The family and friends that feel the need to call me out on the fact that I once said I'd never have kids. Well, yes, I did say that. I admit it. Most of the people who told me "you'll change your mind" weren't even interested in hearing my reasoning for not wanting kids. If they had, I imagine they'd keep their mouths shut now. I was in a place where kids was not an inviting idea. I have grown and found myself in a more child-friendly state of mind now. I don't think it happens to everyone who says they don't want kids and I would never tell someone that they'd change their mind. But for me, I did. It really angers me that people have to bring it up because they just want to say "I told you so". But I let it go because I am too focused on everything else in my life to explain my reasons now.